A few days ago, I was steering my boat down the Mekong River with tourists on board. The water was calm, and the sun felt warm on my face. As I looked at my boat’s bright pink color, I smiled. I remembered the day I painted it this color—and how everyone laughed at me.
My boat is the only pink one on this river. When I first painted it, other boat drivers made fun of me. They said I was crazy. They said it looked ugly. But I didn’t let their words control me. Instead, I stayed calm and focused on my goal.
That experience taught me something powerful: how to handle criticism without losing yourself. Today, I want to share what I learned about controlling your emotions when people doubt you.
Why Learning to Control Your Emotions Matters
Here’s the truth: if you cannot control your emotions, others will control them for you. When someone criticizes you, and you get angry immediately, you’ve already lost. You’ve given them power over your feelings.
People with high emotional intelligence (high EQ) know this secret. They don’t let negative comments shake them. They stay focused on their goals, no matter what others say.
Let me share the seven strategies that helped me stay calm when people laughed at my pink boat.
1. Don’t Respond Immediately
When I finished painting my boat pink, one driver walked over and said, “What kind of boat is that? Everyone else uses normal colors. Your boat looks crazy.”
I wanted to argue with him. I wanted to defend my choice. But I didn’t say a word. I just kept working on my boat.
Why this works: When you respond instantly to criticism, you lose instantly. You’re letting the other person dictate how you feel. Your emotions are no longer yours—they belong to whoever pushed your buttons.
How to Stay Calm When People Laugh at You
Next time someone tries to provoke you, try this simple technique:
- Pause for a moment
- Take a slow, deep breath.
- Count to five in your head.
If you need to respond, say “I’ll think about that” or “I’ll get back to you later.”
This gives you time to cool down and think clearly. It’s one of the most important emotional intelligence tips I’ve ever learned.
2. Separate What’s Yours from What Belongs to Others
After painting my boat, I told myself something important: “Their boat is theirs. My boat is mine. I wanted to try something creative and different. Whether they like it or not doesn’t matter—this idea came from my imagination.”
This simple thought changed everything for me.
Here’s the truth about criticism: When someone insults you, it doesn’t mean you’re bad. It usually means they are unhappy. Happy people don’t spend their time hurting others. Satisfied people don’t need to tear you down.
How to Manage Emotions in Difficult Situations
When someone criticizes you, ask yourself:
- Is this criticism about me, or is it about their own frustration?
- Am I letting someone else’s bad day ruin mine?
- Why am I giving this person so much power over my feelings?
Most of the time, you’ll realize their words say more about them than about you. Don’t turn someone else’s problem into your own.
3. You Don’t Need to Prove You’re Good
After I finished decorating my boat, I didn’t walk around the dock showing it off. I didn’t tell everyone how beautiful it was. I just quietly started my work as usual.
But something amazing happened.
Tourists noticed my boat immediately. One day, I heard a little child shout to his mother, “Look, Mommy! The pink boat is coming!” His mother smiled and waved at me. They became my customers that day.
The lesson: The more you try to explain yourself, justify your choices, or make others understand you, the more you show that you care too much about their opinions.
People with a high EQ mindset don’t worry about what others think. They know their own value. They let their results speak for themselves.
How to Ignore Negative Comments
Instead of defending yourself every time someone criticizes you:
- Focus on doing good work.
- Let your results prove your point.
- Trust that the right people will notice and appreciate what you do.
Actions speak louder than words—and louder than arguments.
4. Treat People Who Insult You Like Children
After my boat was fully painted and decorated, one driver came up to me and said, “What kind of crazy creativity is this? Natural-colored boats look so much better. Your boat is weird.”
I looked at him and smiled. Then I walked away.
Here’s my secret: I stopped seeing him as someone who could hurt me. Instead, I saw him like a child throwing a tantrum. Would you get angry at a five-year-old who yells at you? Of course not. You’d understand that children don’t always know what they’re saying.
When you see critics this way, it’s much easier to stay calm. You don’t take their words personally because you understand they’re just expressing their own discomfort.
5. Choose Your Battles—Not Every Battle Needs Fighting
I could have argued with every person who criticized my pink boat. I could have spent hours explaining my vision and defending my choice. But I didn’t.
Instead, I stayed quiet and let my results do the talking.
The results? Ever since I painted my boat pink, I’ve never had a day without customers. My boat is almost fully booked every single day. Tourists remember me easily because I stand out.
People with high emotional intelligence know when to respond, when to stay silent, and when to simply walk away. Not every criticism deserves your attention or energy.
When Should You Respond to Criticism?
Ask yourself these questions:
- Will responding to this person change anything important?
- Is this person someone whose opinion actually matters to my goals?
- Will this argument help me move forward, or will it just drain my energy?
If the answer is no, save your energy for something better.
6. Keep a Balanced Perspective
After painting my boat, I also wrapped green vines around the handrails for decoration. Again, someone said, “That looks strange. It’s too tight. It doesn’t look good at all.”
I thanked him for his opinion and continued with my work.
Here’s what I learned: Just because someone says something doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because someone thinks something doesn’t mean you have to think it too.
How to Handle Criticism Without Losing Confidence
Remember these points:
- What someone says is their opinion, not a fact.
- You don’t have to believe everything people tell you.
- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.
Keep your own perspective balanced. Listen to feedback, but don’t let it shake your confidence in yourself.
7. Don’t Expect Others to Be Like You
Having a good heart doesn’t mean others will have a good heart. Being honest doesn’t mean others will be honest with you. Being kind doesn’t guarantee that others will be kind back.
Everyone is different. Everyone has their own struggles, their own pain, their own way of seeing the world.
Accept this truth: Not everyone will understand you, support you, or celebrate your success. And that’s okay.
When you stop expecting everyone to think like you, criticism becomes much easier to handle. You’re not disappointed anymore because you weren’t expecting approval in the first place.
Remember: Life Is Too Short for Anger
Here’s something I think about often: One day, both you and the people who criticize you will be gone. Life is short. Why waste your precious time and energy holding onto anger about things that don’t really matter?
When I’m steering my pink boat down the Mekong River, watching the sunset paint the sky orange and gold, I feel grateful. Grateful that I didn’t let other people’s opinions stop me. Grateful that I learned to control my emotions instead of letting my emotions control me.
The drivers who laughed at me? Some of them now ask how I get so many customers. Some of them have started painting small decorations on their own boats.
Final Thoughts: Building Your High EQ Mindset
Learning how to handle criticism is one of the most valuable skills you can develop. It’s not about ignoring all feedback or pretending you don’t care. It’s about choosing what deserves your emotional energy and what doesn’t.
Here’s what I want you to remember:
- Pause before you respond to criticism.
- Separate other people’s problems from your own
- Let your results speak for themselves.
- Treat critics with patience, like you would treat children.
- Choose your battles wisely.
- Keep a balanced perspective on what people say.
- Accept that not everyone will understand or support you.
- Remember that life is too short to hold onto anger.
Today, when tourists take photos with my pink boat, I smile. Not because I proved the critics wrong, but because I stayed true to myself. I controlled my emotions, and because of that, I controlled my life.
Your turn: What will you do the next time someone criticizes you? Will you let their words control your emotions? Or will you take a deep breath, smile, and keep steering your boat in the direction you want to go?
The choice is always yours.
